WIPpet 8/20/14

WIPpet

date

 
For this WIPpet:
 The date is August 20, 2014.
My math was simple for this one and I took a snippet from Chapter 20.
We’ll also say that I took the two paragraphs from the 2 in 20. 😀
I hope you enjoy it!
*unedited*

Thistle Black: Cast

 

Turning back to him, Thistle held his gaze as recognition finally lit her eyes. At the same moment, a slow smile slipped across his lips. His light brown hair was held back as it always was when she had seen him… the stranger. With his feet planted firmly on the cobbled road, his hands were clasped behind his back. He looked rather fine in his long black coat that hung open over a white shirt and black pants. The brass of his buckled shoes and belt flickered in the light cast by the lanterns, the only part of him that seemed to move as he stood there staring at her.

It was then that she realized just how hard she had tried to push him from her thoughts. She had buried him far below her lessons, her sense of duty, and the mindless conformity of what was expected of her. Even more, she had covered him with thoughts of her engagement and her impending marriage to Prince Oliver. Yet, no matter how far she had hidden the memories and thoughts of the stranger, the sight of him standing before her -even more darkly handsome than she remembered- caused it all to come crashing down around her. She felt her world shudder even as the man did nothing but watch her with that slight upturn of his lips.

 

© Jenna Wood
 
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16 Responses

  1. “The brass of his buckled shoes and belt flickered in the light cast by the lanterns, the only part of him that seemed to move as he stood there staring at her.”

    I loved the description in this part. It’s very soft and yet poignant. This entire scene was almost dreamlike, good job! :)

    1. Thank you! I actually thought very hard on describing him so that he could be envisioned by the reader in hopefully the same way I saw him. 😀

  2. I really want to know who he is. I have to say, I LOVE your writing style. I am going to have to read this book when it comes out. For the most part, the excerpts you post are very polished and error free. I’m impressed my the structure and grammar that you have. Above that, the plot is dragging me in, bit by bit. One question, though. How old is Thistle? This man, for whatever reason, seems older to me, as in an adult, and I had originally thought a couple weeks ago that Thistle was a teenager, but I could be wrong.

    1. Wow! Thank you so much! I’m glad you like it! Your comment means a lot. 😀

      As for their ages, in this scene Thistle is 18 and the “stranger” is maybe a few years older. Thistle’s age is revealed because it is important as her parents’ plan is for her to be promised in marriage at 15, officially engaged at 18, and married at 20. So this scene is the night of her engagement. The first two WIPpets I posted were of Thistle and Iris at around 15. (I should add more of Iris. She probably feels neglected. lol) So hopefully that is why she seems so young? The last WIPpet was the only other one where she was actually older. When she has the invitation, she is 20.

      I never really reveal the “stranger’s” age. The first time Thistle sees him is when she’s 15 and she guesses that he is close to her age. He has quite a past and there are things she already knows about him that I haven’t revealed in my WIPpets. These are the things that make him “darkly handsome” and maybe what make him seem older?

      I hope this was a good answer! 😀

      Thank you again for your kind words! <3

  3. Hmmm.. Definitely a dreamlike quality to the…stranger… at least until his slightly upturned lips. Not sure what to think about him now save that I’m leery.

    That said… I got drawn right out of the prose by the “Prince Oliver”. I guess it’s just me, but… well, I don’t know. If just doesn’t work for me. But that’s my issue, not yours, Jenna.

    1. Thank you for your thoughts. I know the stranger won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I’m sure Thistle won’t be either. I’m nervous about this book because they’re very different from my usual characters and love interests. (It’s not a romance but I tend to have a bit of love in all my books) As for Prince Oliver, he is the one to whom she will be engaged that very night. So he has been on her mind a lot. :)

  4. I adore this passage. The descriptions of the stranger are great (damn, he sounds sexy) and the way you list all the thoughts he was buried under in the second paragraph is just wonderful! Really. 😀

  5. I want to see his eyes and his smile. I’ll know more about him then.

    I think Thistle needs to pay attention to this guy. He definitely seems more intriguing than Prince Oliver.

    The first sentence through me a little, and I needed to reread it after I got though the passage. It might just be the lack of context, though.

    I definitely want to know more – about Thistle, and the stranger. Prince Oliver? Not so much!

    1. Oooh she is definitely paying attention to this stranger, and there is definitely more to come about Thistle and the stranger. Up to this point Thistle hasn’t even met Oliver so she is about as interested in him as you are. 😀

  6. Oh, I likey! Your stranger sounds like he’s going to wind up being the type of character I thoroughly enjoy. Is he a bit of a bad boy? A damaged soul, perhaps? I love the mystery surrounding him and the fact that he has such a pull on her… yep, definitely liking this.

    I will admit, after reading some of the comments, I agree with Eden on the ‘Prince Oliver’ thing. I think, for me, the passage is very moody, very ethereal. Prince Oliver rings in my head like a fairytale name for some reason. But I didn’t find it totally distracting. Just a bump in the road.

  7. You’ve got the stranger pegged!

    I have to admit, I’m actually happy that you thought Prince Oliver sounds like a fairytale name. I wanted this series to have a touch of a fairytale feel, though in a sort of twisted way. It has a witch, a curse, and a princess so I am thrilled you got a fairytale vibe from it. 😀

    Thank you so much for your thoughts.

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